SAC/SGA should buy us beer

I am a college student.
I have a limited amount of money.
I am currently hungry.
I drink a lot of beer.
These statements are directly related.

A major component of college life is the consumption of cheap/bad food. Its not like college students have a lot of options when we have a budget of roughly $2 per meal. College students have to be frugal with their food choices, as there are a lot of other things we have to purchase. Of course, when I say "a lot of things" I really mean "beer."

Fig. 1.1 A typical lunch for college students

However, Xavier's Student Government Association (SGA) and Student Activities Council (SAC) seem to have quite a bit of money that they apparently have no idea what to do with. How else would one explain this announcement on the portal:

A Xavier Christmas will be held on Monday, 12/4 beginning at 4:30pm. A live nativity scene with petting zoo animals will be on the greenspace from 4:30-6:30pm; luminaries, free hot coffee and cocoa at 5pm and Gospel Choir performance and speakers Steven Bentley and Father Graham at 5:30pm. Join us inside GSC after the lighting of the Sally Watson tree for pictures with Santa for $1 and free soup.

Just to clarify, SGA/SAC has paid money in order to bring petting zoo animals to a college campus. While I'm sure this would be a smash hit if Xavier had a kindergarten program, I don't necessarily see this event being that popular unless it involved students getting drunk and riding llamas around the greenspace. Unfortunately, this is probably not realistic, and the most exciting thing that will probably happen at this petting zoo/nativity scene is a goat defecating.

Fig. 1.2 A defecating goat

Instead of using their money to purchase defecating goats, SGA/SAC should give students beer. That way, we would be able to use the money in our respective beer funds to purchase food that isn't made from the spare parts of a pig. Its really a win-win for everyone, especially the guy who has to clean up goat shit.