Saturday, March 24, 2007

Get Busy Livin'...

As I read through the police notes in the Xavier Newswire over a week ago, a particular note happened to catch my eye. According to the student run publication, four "subjects" were reported for trying to move a boulder into the middle of Dana Avenue. While this was obviously an incredibly stupid idea, I still find myself wanting to support the actions of these students. We’re in college (allegedly) and students should be doing stupid shit like this.

Xavier students are increasingly demonstrating Sisyphusian tendencies.

Let’s cut to 20 years in the future. You’re forty-something, sitting at home, watching reruns of Boy Meets World because you feel like something went wrong in your life and you must have misunderstood Mr. Feeny’s lessons. You hate your job, your wife is probably a bitch, and ever since your son, Little Johnny Jr., turned 6 years old he decided that hitting you in the nuts is more entertaining than Sponge Bob. The only thing that will get you through your hellish existence is college memories.

Thank Krishna that you have me here to get your life on track. It’s not too late to create these memories as long as you’re willing to get a little crazy. Get in fights when some douche bag at a party starts to piss you off. Drink so much that you have to talk to your roommates in the morning to figure out how the night ended. Go streaking, smoke weed, spend money you don’t even have, take the walk of shame every once in a while (what's really more shameful: ass from a stranger or your roommate catching you whacking off). Some people even move past 1st base during their college years.

Now I’m not telling you to run through your dorm after you finish reading this, knocking on all the doors until you gather enough people for an orgy. That’s senior type stuff anyway, we’re talking three hundred course level craziness. Just start out slow and don’t be afraid to have fun. Hopefully, if any of you readers (the "readers" I refer to may or may not exist) follow this advice then the police notes will be just a little more interesting in weeks to come. And maybe, just maybe, Xavier student life will follow.


Anonymous said...

Have you noticed when the weather is finally warm again that these good lookin girls all of a sudden show up. Where the hell have they been? I think Xavier keeps them caves for the winter. And yeah, it's still not all that great compared to most schools, but it sure as hell beats the crap out of the winter when every girl appears to not care one ounce about what they look like.

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